I think I heard the Fat Lady sing!

As the saying goes, it isn't over until the Fat Lady sings, well I just heard several verses of "Get out of my life".

Deb is finished treatment as of Friday morning and doing very well indeed. Albeit she is tired, a normal reaction after a procedure, but in very high spirits. The medical staff informed us that their is no sign of a tumor and all looks good. Naturally there are follow up procedures, more appointments (Aug sometime) for a check and the regular expectations. It was so surreal to watch and hear the teaching medical staff dole out instruction for post radiation care, wish us a great vacation and to actually say goodbye with conviction and hugs instead of "see you next week".

There are still concerns related to Deb's white blood count as it is not climbing as anticipated, but careful guidance and another set of tests on Wednesday should tell the story. In the event that the staff are not satisfied, she will see a blood specialist and start a regime of some sort no doubt.

We are looking forward this weekend to planning more of our trip with hopes of sorting through "cruise wear" that hopefully still fits. We have just learned that Clyde (our brother in law) will be our captain for the flight from Toronto to Frankfurt, what a treat that will be. We have planned to meet him in the departures lounge and start our journey together being totally spoiled.

Everyone at home has sighed a big sigh of relief and you can see faces smiling a whole lot more. Even the rainy days that we have had and that are in the forecast ahead are being looked forward to. The garden will grow, my fence may get fixed and with luck, we may still have a garden upon our return from Europe. The kids will do their best, but it isn't quite the same is it?

We even begin to or find the words to thank everyone enough for you loyal and loving support through this murky swamp we called cancer. Positive energies from around the globe landed right where they were intended and all went such a long way to help Deb beat this beast.

Now I need you all to do something for me. 

1. Go to your front or back door, and open it ever so slowly...
2. put your best ear out and listen as intently as you can....
3. see, the Fat Lady is singing!

Thank you Thank you Thank you..... and yes continue to hug someone you love every day.

K

Sunday May 15th - the long weekend holiday

In my Children's Adventure Playground

What a great day again today! Deb has spent the entire day downstairs chatting with family and friends on the phone and scaring the neighbours. This image I am sure will be the cause of much therapy for those on Jessie Avenue. Ms. Beattie complete with IPod stuck in her ears, directing how the plantings should go in the front garden. Dressed to kill or at least ready for a red carpet somewhere, in her nightie, bare feet and a knee length (Versace no doubt) sweater. OMG could I shrink faster than her tumor? Not bloody likely. The IPod of course blocked her sense of hearing, so even the local felines scattered in short order. The wilting of my Hosta, well another story. Once safely inside the front porch, with a luncheon fit for her majesty, the waling did stop long enough for her to eat.
Now look at this, a week ago she couldn't lift her eyelids to save her soul, today... dancing in the streets; albeit quite a sight.

Tedd D Bear - note his boots!

http://www.thetoren.nl/index.php?lang=EN
The link above is our hotel in Amsterdam from June 27 - July 1. Apparently this is one of Brad Pitt's favourite places to stay when he is in Amsterdam. Not why we booked it of course, location - location - location. We are so looking forward to our cruise even though I have to present a few talks, the downtime will be great. We are at sea for about four days with nice shore excursions in the Scandinavian countries and Northern Europe. If you want to check out our itinerary we are sailing aboard Celebrity Cruises, the Constellation from Amsterdam, return June 15 - 27.
For goodness sakes, rather than just google us, why not join us we will be the ones with the biggest smiles on our faces.
With any luck, our brother-in-law Clyde will be the pilot on our trip over so we may get some extra special treatment for Deb. At the very least, if she is not up to snuff, I will book a wheelchair at both ends as well you know, the airports can be pretty exhausting on a long haul; also you get seated first <lol>.
So tomorrow brings yet another choreography I am certain, perhaps this time in the back garden. The neighbours sleep late so with any luck they will miss the Ms. Debbie Parade  and dance-a-thon. The Ipod will  be suitably re-charged, no John Wayne movies on her DVD player and sunshine we hope. Tune in for the U-tube version of "I Beat Cancer Dancin".

Remember to hug someone you love today... time has a funny way of slipping away, with or without an IPod.

My Froggie Bottom Boys Band

Only 1 more to go! Friday of the long weekend

Deb did great today! We were up so early but a beautiful morning for sure. Her HDR treatment was rather rapid and she came out feeling very well. Actually she walked from Cancer Care to the parking lot which is about a block or so... pretty good for the 1st time.



Crocus sativus - saffron crocus




Catherine the Great's Garden - St. Petersburg Russia



Peterhoff  - fountain St Petersburg Russia



the opening of the Children's Garden



My topiary Froggies in the Children's Garden

Children's Garden  opening

Snake sculpture Children's Garden

a few of the 50,000 tulips all in bloom the children's garden

Deb is on the phone tonight, had a great meal and is actually becoming Deb again. Absolutely remarkable what the body and science can do. We are so very thankful to Cancer Care Manitoba and the exemplary level of treatment, service and general compassion that we received during this battle. It makes you very proud to be part of a system that works so well.

Tomorrow will be yet another day of surprises, we may actually spend some time downstairs and outside weather permitting. The garden will wait I am sure until the time is right for us to plant. Leaving in a matter of weeks, so the pressure is on to get the garden into shape as well as my presentations. It is such a good thing that there are 29 hours in the 9 day work week.

Enjoy the long weekend.

Tuesday May 17, Wednesday May 18th

Hello all, a very brief blog this evening of May 18th. Her Highness's blood work came back very good indeed. Her white count is back to normal and her Magnesium is close to normal too. We had the blood work done on Tuesday in the morning to accommodate my busy schedule. The news was so great today (Wed) that is was cause for celebration. Deb had jello <lol>! Actually we ordered in a pizza and she actually had some.
So at this point we are all set to go for early Friday morning the second to last internal treatment. The end is truly in sight.

I did however suggest to Deb that I was not prepared to push a wheelchair all over Northern Europe however on the plane it might be a good idea. Really and truly if that is what has to be, it will certainly happen. Just watching Deb today trying to manipulate her way through the hospital to the clinic on the first floor, sit and then come out again really exhausted her. The chances of her doing a 4 hour road trip in St. Petersburg are looking slim. May be that we have to acquiesce to a pedicure on board in St. Petersburg or the Gulf of Finland.
Yes the pressure is now on to get my presentations polished and ready to go; actually I have almost completed the five of them with only tweeking left to do.

Stay well and enjoy our good news, celebrate as you see fit.

More later for sure.

the end is in sight!

Saturday 14, Sunday and Monday May 16th

You  may have gathered that by now my blogs are becoming condensed. Truth is that I am tired too and it does take some time to report daily. With spring heavily upon us, there is even more to do at home. I had a great wiff of energy (where it came from remains a mystery) and did some work in my poor garden. Actually at the end of the day, it looked great. Our young neighbour to the East was amazed at what happened in a manner of hours; she is still miffed why her yard doesn't look the same.
Deb had a rather rough weekend spending all of it in bed with waves of nausea and other less attractive side effects. She is very weak and really isn't eating very  much at all. Mind you the chef and concierge service at the Beattie Hilton is second to none, but even that doesn't seem to stimulate her appetite.
Now on Monday, I called home to check our answering service and whose perky voice do I hear but Deb's. Thinking that she was in bed and just answered the land line, I was shocked to learn that she was actually downstairs in the kitchen. She went on to boast that she had done some packing up of her "gack" from Easter, made something to eat and had lunch on. Wow, what a change from Sunday when I thought that I should admit her.

Perhaps her electrolytes are still a bit wonky and this is what is causing her upset. The staff called today and we re-scheduled her blood work to Wed, and this will tell the story for sure. Hoping that all is well, levels up and climbing then her HDR procedure will occur on Friday very early in the morning. This is second to last and let me tell you both of us are awaiting that day. Then Deb's healing will start. I did notice this weekend that she has two sores on either side of her mouth, almost like a canker sore. Very red and they look angry for sure. However,( Ms. Clause X Polly Anna) thought that this was a more suitable side effect of the chemo than having them insider her mouth! Great attitude don't you think?
The stock market is on the rise, I bought into Immodium a few weeks back, and I am sure that my returns will pay for Deb's treatment in full. Lest we forget, there are very nasty side effects that allow Deb to be only a short distance from the lou. This too will pass we are praying.
So all in all, things are still a roller coaster, but I sense that we are at least coming to the shoreline of this murky swamp.

Thanks for all your kind correspondence, calls and concerns, these are the very bright lights in somewhat dull days.

Thursday & Friday May 12, 13th

Wow, what a turn around has happened over the last day or so. I apologise for not adding to the blog yesterday (Thur) as the homepage was down. At any rate, we are now finished radiation on the outside yeah! and just have two more internal procedures and we are DONE! Can you actually believe that?

We are both over the moon with excitement, (well Deb is a bit slower for good reason)  but the finish line is in site.

On Thursday her blood work came back all very positively and on the way up. Her white count was becoming reasonable and most of her electrolytes were close to normal range. I know that is gets a bit silly all this jargon and all, but when you are in the swamp, this is the language that is used. Each day, each hour becomes very important on the road to recovery.
Friday morning starts early as we are in the ward by 06:30 waiting for the procedure to commence. This week I took my laptop and got tons of work done as we are in there until noon.
Deb fared very well again, such a trooper. The nurses are so gentle and compassionate, can't say enough positive things about her care. She was rolled into the procedure room, IV et al attached only to return, a bit groggy but still our Deb.

I was in the wee room trying to look intelligent and being as strong as I could, but sometimes it's hard. When you see the love of  your life all hooked up, dopey and very fragile, it is hard to smile as much as you think that you should. Nevertheless, I got water, the nurse brought apple juice, hooked up oxygen yada yada yada, and all was well after the requisite pee and no flush!
The chemo personnel actually came down to administer Deb's final shot and once that was over, get dressed and head for home  by noon.
She really is a trooper as she ploughed into bed and slept for most of the afternoon, awakening when I came home and the dinner arrived from Patty.

I suspect that she will sleep for most of the weekend as her poor body needs time to recoup after all the prodding and poking not to mention who knows how much radiation. There are only two more internal HDR (high density radiation) treatments left, both on Fridays, so she has the entire week off. We both are expecting major changes over this time period. I am sure Deb will not miss her Imodium.
Today (Friday) there were a barrage of cards and letters. So wonderful to hear from folks across the globe as well as locally. They mean so much, you have no idea really. I read through them all at dinner this evening and marvelled at the scope of loved ones that we have globally.

Tonight Deb will rest peacefully I hope as is normal after her internal procedures. Tomorrow is a promise of sunshine and warm temperatures, so perhaps she will go outside for a bit and look at the garden.

Take good care and remember to hug or at least tell someone how much they mean to you today, it never falls on deaf ears.

Wednesday May 11

Today turned out to be a good day, or better than some at least. Deb's appointments were scheduled for earlier in the day, less traffic and I can get back to work more quickly.

Singapore Harbor

She seems to have really rallied with the Neupogen shots. Although they make her even more tired, a deep sleep can't be all that bad can it? She has been complaining of a headache and I suspect it is as a result of her shots; this then tends to make her feel nauseous so it's a viscous circle for sure. The good news is that she is eating more.
As tomorrow is the last day (even says it on our hospital printed schedule) we plan to take a big cake or something of the like to thank the team in radiology. Deb and I suspect many others get to know the staff as you are there every day, so something to let them know that you appreciate the wonderful level of service they have provided. I don't get the critics of Canadian Health Care... it is absolutely fantastic. One, yes one of Deb's prescriptions rang up at $1140. and that only was for five days. In any other country without government medical most folks would be out of luck. I hesitate to even estimate what her entire treatment would cost across the border.

Langkawi, Malaysia

Lizz stayed home today ill, so both my girls were confined to bed. Tonight at dinner, Lizz was in our room, in bed with Deb watching some re-run of something. They both ordered their own meals and of course they had room service. Christopher and I manned the galley and cranked out their special orders and ours off the barbecue like a seasoned diner downtown.
Lots of calls today filling us in on others in the family who have undergone serious surgery and all is well. Cards and letters still flow daily and they do really mean a lot. Deb's chest of cards and treats is overflowing, but she still rustles through it regularly. Perhaps she will use this blog also as a piece of her journey.
Work goes well, but our weather is playing havoc with my staff. -3C tonight with the winds, so not good for plants that have been ripped untimely from the nurturing womb of the glasshouses. (OMG that was good!)
We shall see if the frosts, deer, rabbits and all other vermin leave our gardens alone long enough for our major show and tell opening on May 19th .
The new butterfly garden is under construction and with luck will blossom in time for it's fancy opening too. Alas, we will be out of the country when it opens, but the staff deserve all the kudos anyway.

Friday, if all goes well, Deb will have her internal. Her blood work is crucial to the decision so we just have to hope that her counts are on the way up.

GOING UP!

Take care and do a little "end of radiation dance" for Deb tomorrow at 11:00 CDT. She won't be dancing, but her smile I am sure will be awesome (under her mask).

Tuesday May 10th - a turning point we hope

This morning was a rather early one for everyone including Deb. The kids and I had obligations before 08:00 so were up and about well before. Deb had a great night and we are lauding her injection of Neuprogen for that. She had a good breakfast, not her usual applesauce and perhaps an "Ensure", but a real breakfast.

When I phoned her closer to noon, I woke her up and that is unusual. We are sure hoping that one of the side affects of these injections is deep, restful sleep and not the aching pain and flu-like symptoms suggested in the literature.

The regular trip to Cancer Care was uneventful and even the traffic was reasonable, so all in all a rather non event today. We are sure looking forward to Thursday as this will be her last external booster, the end of that sort of radiation. All that remains are the three internal HDR treatments and that's it! Looks like May 27th is the magic day.

The evening meal as ordered apparently hit the spot, and this makes it a good day too. Often times food is the least of what is on Deb's mind, so we think perhaps a corner has been turned. Tomorrow will tell us more with hopes that she has a good night's sleep after spending all morning totally asleep.

As it is midweek already tomorrow, work is ramping up with spring bursting at the park's seams. Tons of work to do, tons of plants to install and a major opening on the 16th, so no pressure. The weather is holding so our topiary figures were moved on site today, amazing. I will attempt to get some photos for you to enjoy on the blog.

Ken is managing ok too!

Take good care and remember to hug someone you love today. Make lots of plans and learn to live with change, that is really all that is constant.

Happy Face from WA

Monday May 9th - You Never Know What's Next

Well, Monday was quite the day. I had expected to take Deb in the morning for her bloodwork (a busy day apparently) and then to radiation. There were some mechanical issues and not all the radiation equipment was functioning. This equals wait! Deb is sent to isolation or a clean room as she is not allowed to be with the unwashed masses of the waiting room. With her white blood cell count a whopping 33 (it should be well over 100) we are not taking any chances.

So off to Hematology; the waiting room here looked like there was a sale or something, perhaps free bloodwork. So we sat off to the side, masked and trying to blend in HA!. Once called to the front, the rest usually is simple. Not so, down for radiation and then a call to meet with the oncology team, the blood results are back that fast.

Deb's system is not great, her electrolytes are trying to come back, her red blood cells are great and the white ones, well they leave a lot to be desired. So, a medication is prescribed and of course is not covered. So picture this, a fat old man in very cool sneakers, dashes across a main road to the local pharmacy with a script in hand for some sort of magical potion that encourages Deb's bone marrow to go into overdrive.

Neupogen is the name if any medical folks are reading. Luckily we are covered as the bill was over $1100 for the five viles. The price is only exceeded by the cruel list of side affects that may happen. Actually, compared to what Deb has already there were only a couple on the list that she hasn't experienced yet. But c'mon, poor thing is suffering enough now this too!

Nevertheless, she got her shot (stings a bit too) and we lumbered off home.

Deb actually ate a bit today and told me that she finished her ensure (vanilla only) so  I have no reason to doubt.

I made it into work after lunch until about 6 or so. So much going on these days with cruel deadlines and weather that is less than cooperative.

We are looking towards an upward swing in all Deb's levels over the next few days. If she doesn't improve her treatment scheduled for Friday morning at 6:45 will be postponed yet another week. The anxiety of not having the treatment, is almost as bad as the side affects. We just want this to be over so that we can get on with our lives.Time alone will tell.

On the crappy side of things, now that Deb has cancer, it is considered a "pre-existing condition" and therefore she can not get insurance for our trip, cancellation and the rest. Never mind, we are going regardless.

Take good care of yourselves and loved ones. You never know what is around the next corner, so ensure that today is the best day ever. However trite it may sound, every day really is a gift.

Call it Mother's Day weekend!

Ok folks, I must admit that my steam is running low, so I thought that putting Saturday and Sunday together in one blog would be an acceptable thing to do.

Truth is there hasn't been much change. Saturday was a typical day for Deb, she was confined to bed with the exception being trips to the lou. I shopped a bit as I did on Sunday too, for provisions and the like.

Mother's Day was spent in bed, the kids came into our room with their cards and well wishes of course before they both left for either work or other obligations. Deb loved her family ring from the gang of us, with stones representing each birthday on a simple, elegant gold band to match with her engagement and wedding ring.
Sunday is a tough day for the most part anyway, but we slid through without too much turmoil. So nice to reconnect with so many folks and catch up with family on the phone. Deb is still pretty low with even the slightest effort being overwhelming. This week ahead has a lot of pressure on it, as we are both expecting that Deb will rally a bit; and as the radiation therapy is now only boosters daily and 3 more internal episodes, we are near the end for sure.

I want to put a copy of the interior of the plane that we are booked on for Europe with our seats highlighted so that she can look forward to our flights and the cruise to follow. Here's hoping that she can actually march around St. Petersburg and see all the sights that she has read about in her art history classes.
It would be foolish of me to suggest that I am sailing through this swamp with ease, "not". Some days are tougher than others, but none are easy that is certain. Oddly enough, work seems a quiet port in the storm and the regularity of BS that comes with work is almost appreciated... who's to know eh?
Deb is still in fairly good spirits, and that is crucial to her healing. Depression, at least from my vantage, seems inevitable as this disease is all consuming for sure. So we try to laugh at the little things in life, look out the window at the developing garden trying to obscure the view of all the work that must yet be done.

The neighbours and work colleagues have all been wonderful. Each offers in their own way what they can to help, but the truth is, there is so little that anyone can do. Mind you, the meals that Patty and Les send over on Friday nights is a tremendous benefit.. nothing to think about, just eat what is in front of you.
So this week ahead we are all looking forward to counts, bloodwork, stats and tests to be very positive as Deb rounds the corner and heads towards a stronger, cancer free self.

Stay close to those you love, hug them whenever you  can ; there may come a time that even a simple hug is something to look forward to as for whatever reasons you can't respond spontaneously.

Friday May 6th

Wow, the end of the week and a couple of days off for Deb to rest up. Goodness knows is there anymore TV that she could watch? I guess one of the advantages of getting older is that we don't remember all the shows that we have seen, so they all are new to us <lol>
Deb had a pretty good day considering. She was out before lunch for treatment, the very specific "boosters" they call them. Today the target was lymphatic nodes just above her belt line. Monday we go back for bloodwork of course, and another booster.

The waiting room had only one other person today so Deb didn't have to go into isolation before her zapping, and that is kind of nice. We plan a very soothing and easy day tomorrow. Christopher and I will be at work until about 1pm, then simply home to clean the nest, work on my presentations (40 days today we sail) and generally chill for the weekend.

Temperatures are good for Deb, she is in good spirits just tired of course. Sorry, no visitors at all, we can't have any more germs or coughs in the house than the three of us bring in. This hopefully is over soon so Deb can go outside if she feels up to it and we can start to ease off a bit here.

Mother's Day on Sunday will also be quiet, no great plans as of yet.. but one never knows.

Take care and enjoy the weekend.